Best In Me
by ApolloGoGo
Summary: Fergal realizes that he's in love with his best friend, fear has led him to believe the feelings were not mutual. He spends a greater part of their friendship doubting and second guessing himself.
1. Chapter 1

Fergal Devitt was a seemingly outgoing person but in reality he was painfully shy. He had trouble starting conversations with people. When he made deep connections he usually ended up clinging to the person. For close to twelve years he'd clung to Lucas "Zack Sabre Jr." Eatwell. They had a deep connection. Lucas was relatable. He was charming, kindhearted, and just enjoyed the company of another person. They liked some of the same things. They were both slightly nerdy, slightly outcasted, somewhere on the outliers even in the world of wrestling. It didn't take Fergal long to realize his friend was everything he wanted in a partner. There was no point in ever really bringing it up in conversation, so the feelings just had to kind of fester internally. He looked up at Lucas adjusting his shirt collar to go out for the evening. His shortened hair really added to his appeal. He looked more mature, more grown, sexier. Fergal noticed he was still uncomfortable with his ears being noticeable. He imagined they were some sort of insecurity, probably didn't help that one of his former stable mates Shane "Shane Thorne" Veryzer constantly talked about how big they were. Fergal liked Lucas's big ears though, something about them added to his appearance. Overall Lucas was possibly one of the most attractive men Fergal had ever met. He would never tell him why he was always looking at him. He wouldn't know where to start or how to explain why it took so long to get to this point. He turned away when he noticed Lucas looking back at him.

Lucas was almost positive that the black button up was the only shirt Fergal ever wore. It looked fairly snug but maybe it was just the material. He probably shouldn't have been staring but it was getting harder to pretend he didn't have some little school boy crush on Fergal. Fergal was near perfect on so many levels. He just had this way about him that was genuine. He hadn't changed in the twelve years they had known each other. He was still the same person. Nothing seemed to change who he was. Fame never got to his head, he was still humble. Lucas found himself staring at Fergal more than he should have. Sometimes he'd stand too close. Lean in a little too much when they'd laugh or talk in a bar. Every now and again he'd touch him a little too long, linger a little bit just to feel skin on skin. He watched him tuck his shirt into his Armani slacks. Armani always seemed to remind Lucas of Fergal's ring gear. Small black trunks, that bordered the line of obscene. If they weren't riding up in the back exposing bits of ass, they were tight enough in the front to make out the outline of Fergal's dick. He felt like he shouldn't have known the level of tightness the trunks were but it was hard not to notice. He hoped Fergal never noticed the lust gaze or the lip biting. He never wanted to risk their friendship over what could have been lust, even though he was positive it was more.

They left the room silently. It wasn't an awkward silence. It was more of a relaxed silence. They didn't have a need to make small talk, they were able to just enjoy each other's company. Chad "Karl Anderson" Allegra hated to make assumptions but he'd long thought there was a bit more to their relationship. He knew some things about Fergal's sexual preferences but did his best, or worst, at keeping them secret. Maybe he made a little bit of a mistake always referring to Fergal as the "Vag Slayer". He knew the number of women who threw themselves at Fergal via social media was a bit overwhelming for his friend but he couldn't recant. He couldn't take back what he said, because obvious joke or not, some people took it very serious. Fergal played along with the joke, either to protect himself or to protect Chad's feelings. Chad knew. He never had to ask him outright, he saw the subtle or not so subtle flirting with other men. The blushed cheeks when Lucas was mentioned. The way he gushed over football players, singers, and Lucas. Everything always came back to Lucas which was part of the reason Chad made sure he was here for this. He had to be there, Fergal was almost a completely different person when Lucas was around. He was more open and fun.

The group of men walked into the Japanese steakhouse and looked at the table already set up. Lucas naturally took the seat between Tama and Fergal. Drew "Doc Gallows" Hankinson smirked at Chad. Of course that's where he'd sit. Fergal looked across the table at Chad, silently reminding him not to say shit. The camera was waiting for the evenings weird introduction to customs that Fergal found both strange and fascinating. He was about to chop random restaurant employees in front of people who he didn't know and his group of strange friends. He caught small glimpses of Lucas's intense stare. He wondered what he was thinking of this whole thing. He seemed comfortable the way he was talking to Tama. Fergal needed to concentrate on what he was doing and not the table. This was being filmed. He didn't need anything suggesting his mind was elsewhere.

Lucas watched what Fergal was doing. Chopping employees of a restaurant seemed completely silly, but sponsors who did these kinds of things usually were strange. He looked at the food surrounding him. Tama still talking to him about Fergal. He wasn't positive but Tama seemed to believe he was Fergal's boyfriend? Maybe there was some cultural barrier in the slang Tama was using? He was positive that he understood the way that Tama was using the phrase "your man". He wasn't too sure how to respond other than to simply chuckle and take a sip of beer. Tama just kept going on about different things centering around him and Fergal being some sort of couple. He did his best to kind of deny any feelings toward his friend but Tama seemed to not believe him or he just chose to ignore it. It didn't help when Fergal sat down laughing into Lucas's bicep. Lucas looked at Fergal's forehead still resting against his shoulder. He enjoyed the closeness far too much to really say anything. He noticed Tama's smile. Tama noticed the blush on Lucas's cheeks.

Fergal realized he may have crossed a line. Overstepped some boundaries, but his head resting on Lucas's arm felt right. He thought that Lucas would eventually push his head back, push him off, say something but he just kept chit chatting with Tama and Chad. He didn't even make a dumb joke about it, he just seemed comfortable. Fergal noticed his smile when he turned to face him. He'd seen it a million times and never questioned the emotion behind it until now. Now, at this sponsored dinner definitely was not the time or place to think about this.


	2. Chapter 2

The sponsored dinner was the worst place for Fergal to get lost in some feelings that may or may not be mutual. They were more than likely not mutual. Lucas was just a good friend, nothing more, nothing less. He remembered Shane mentioning something about Lucas being taken within the past year. Chances are Lucas just never had the time to properly introduce her to his friends. Fergal was quiet on the way back to the dorm. Everyone walked ahead of him, no one questioned him. It was normal for him to withdraw at times. He always kind of observed more than talked. He watched how Lucas interacted with everyone. He was just kind of welcomed into their little circle. Chad seemed to talk to him the most. He couldn't make out quite what they were saying but there was a lot of laughter.

Lucas looked back at Fergal from where he was in the front of a trail of men. Fergal was almost lost behind the combination of Fale, Tama, and Drew. He was just so small compared to the three of them. He felt Chad's hand on his forearm.

"Checking on your boyfriend?" Chad grinned.

"First Pate, then his brother started on me, now you."

"Just observing how you interact." Chad shrugged. "I'm not serious, I don't want you to be offended."

"Not at all offended." Lucas swallowed and looked forward.

"Good. I mean part of me is kind of hopeful one day I say something to one of you and your response is a little different. I kind of think you guys would be a great couple."

"Ah, well, I'm not too sure that the Vag Slayer is about that life."

"You know that's just a joke right? I know what life he's about Luke and it sure the fuck isn't vagina."

"I'm sure he would have mentioned something over the past twelve years, mate."

"You should talk to him about this."

"About what?"

"The two of you! You've looked back at him about sixteen times, yes I'm counting, and we've walked about five blocks. In the steakhouse, you didn't move his head off your arm. When he wasn't at the table your eyes followed him. Similarly, he put his head on your arm, he talks about you the way I talk about Tini. I mean he doesn't call you his hot British husband though."

"We've been friends a while now, that's all."

"Alright. I mean, I see a lot of differences in how he treats me and how he treats you, but if you say it's nothing, it's nothing. I'm glad you came by the way."

"Oh right of course, thanks for inviting me to all of this."

"No problem. He needed you here." Chad patted Lucas's arm before walking away.

Lucas looked back at Fergal. He had stopped and looked around the city. Lucas knew it was a bittersweet moment. It would be a long time before he'd come back to Tokyo. Lucas walked away from Chad who nodded. He knew he was staying outside of the dorm for a little bit with Fergal. Lucas watched the door to the building close before he walked over. He watched the lights in the front dorm rooms go out. He wrapped his arm around Fergal. He kept hoping no one looked out a window. He felt like Chad figured everything out that he was trying to hide. Maybe he stared a little too much? Maybe he talked about Fergal a little too much? He didn't know what it was that gave Chad any indication that he would be romantically or sexually attracted to Fergal? Maybe subconsciously he dropped a lot of hints in hopes Fergal would notice and not Chad? He pulled Fergal a little tighter, moments like this were fleeting.

Fergal felt an arm wrap around him. He could tell by the cologne it was Lucas. He tried to hold back crying, he didn't want anyone to see him this emotional. He should have known that Lucas wouldn't have gone inside with everyone else. Lucas in situations like this would never leave someone alone. He just always seemed to have this intuition. Whenever Fergal needed him, he seemed to just know. He remembered a time a few years ago, free Jager night, Fergal drank too much trying to keep up with Jimmy Havoc and failed. Jimmy was a regular hard liquor drinker. Fergal was a beer guy. The night ended with Lucas sleeping up against a hotel bathroom wall with Fergal's head in his lap. Fergal was thankful that Lucas was the kind soul he was. He felt Lucas's chin on his shoulder. It was comforting.

"Are ya okay?"

"Just kind of takin' it all in. It's funny how this was all so overwhelming when I came here the first time. Now I'm going to miss all the craziness." He turned slightly to look at the side of Lucas's face. "Are ya busy tomorrow?"

"No. I was just going to kind of lay around."

"Want to go walk around the city with me for a bit?"

"Of course."

"We should go in to the room then."

"We should. I just didn't want to go in and ya needed someone to talk to."

"I appreciate it."

Fergal wasn't sure why he did it, but he linked hands with Lucas to walk up to his room. He let go of the hand to go and change his clothing. He stood at the bathroom mirror for a bit. Examining his face. He didn't want anyone to come in and think he was crying. He was. A million emotions just hit him. In a few days he'd be back home for a month and then he'd be leaving more permanently. He needed to started thinking about what he was taking with him to America. He needed to figure out how to go from living with everyone, to living alone. His mind just kept going back to Lucas. Talking to him about doing more shows in America, he needed to take this one step at a time.

Lucas sat on the bed he was using. He debated going after Fergal but changed his mind. That would have been too much. He probably needed some time to himself. He watched Fergal walk back into the room. He smiled at him when he looked in his direction. Lucas could tell something was bothering Fergal but he wasn't sure how to bring it all up without seeming pushy. He'd already asked him if he was okay. Probably didn't hurt to ask again ever.

"How are ya holdin' up Ferg?"

"I've been better." Fergal let out a sigh. "I'm waiting for the breakdown. It's not going to happen here, I know that. Probably at Progress, then the rest will come before I board the plane in Dublin."

"Well, I'm here if you need me."

"I appreciate it. Well, I don't want to end the night like this." Fergal was choked up. "Tomorrow, we should get sushi from that place we went to when you first got here."

"Alright. It's not really tomorrow though. It's more like later today, it's two in the morning."

"Oh fuck you. Ya know what I mean."

"I was just saying."

"Good night Lucas." Fergal turned to his side laughing.

Lucas smiled and returned to his book. He took a glance at Fergal's figure under the thin sheet covering him. He wanted to memorize everything just in case this was the last time he'd ever share the same sleep space as him. For a while in Germany the norm was to share a bed, he knew every sound Fergal would make but he'd never really seen the positions he'd lay in, the facial expressions he'd make. This was different, it gave him an outside view of what he laid next to. The bed sharing was better than this though, it almost always led to a small touch here and there. While it wasn't purposeful on Fergal's end, there was still something nice about the skin to skin contact. He had romantic love for someone who only had platonic love for him. It was becoming emotionally painful and staring at Fergal under that thin white sheet wasn't helping ease the pain.


	3. Chapter 3

Lucas woke up to Fergal already dressed to leave for the day. He watched him from his bed. He looked like he was packing up some of his items. Probably getting ready to fly home. Lucas got up and started looking for some clothing to wear. He felt a pair of eyes following him around the room. He shied away a little before retreating to the bathroom with his clothing and deodorant. He washed up and got dressed to join Fergal down in the communal area of the dorm. He saw him leaning up against a counter, talking to the rest of Bullet Club. He felt like he'd be overstepping his bounds. He stepped outside with his apple and water. He didn't want to over involve himself in Fergal's relationship with his teammates. He didn't want this to be a source of resentment.

Fergal looked around the room to see where Lucas was. Seemed odd he wasn't sitting with everyone else. Maybe he got back into reading the book he had with him. He did that from time to time. It was adorable how lost in a book he could get. Fergal always liked how intense his expression would get when he was really into whatever book he was reading. He reluctantly walked over to where Chad, Drew, and Fale had been sitting. Chad looked up at him. He looked a bit saddened. Maybe he was expecting Lucas to be there as well? He sat down in an empty seat. He watched Fale walk out of the room before he heard Chad speaking.

"Hey. Is everything okay with Lucas?"

"As far as I know? Have ya seen him?"

"No. That's why I asked." Chad looked down at his juice. "I saw you guys last night. Outside. I hadn't heard you guys come in, so I looked out the window."

"Oh." Fergal looked down at the table. "What did ya see Chad?"

"It was nothing. I mean, I support you, you know that. I just thought maybe it led to something and it didn't go well."

"Nope. Led to nothing. I didn't say anything to him. I mean I gotta wrestle him in like a month. Not what ya want to hear from your opponent."

"Fair, I just think maybe you guys should talk about it before you go to the states. At least let him know how you're feeling. It wouldn't hurt anything. I mean the way you guys talk about each other, look at each other, I mean there's some deep love there whether it's platonic, romantic, or familial, it's something and you should find out."

"Chad, why in the fuck are ya good with this kind of shit?"

"Tini. She makes me watch all those stupid shows and movies with her."

"I'm going to wait until after the match. Talk to him sober."

"Good. I'll be here if you need me, just Facetime me." Chad's eyes looked above Fergal. "Lucas is outside on the patio by the way."

"I'm going to go see why he's distancing himself from everyone."

"Alright. See ya later, Fergie."

Fergal got up from the table and walked to the door. He joined Lucas out on the patio. They exchanged a look. Fergal sat next to him. Their eyes met. Fergal hoped holding Lucas's hand didn't change anything. That it didn't turn him away. It was almost a regrettable mistake, but Lucas was the one to make the first move or whatever it was. Lucas was the one who wrapped his arm around Fergal. Maybe he regretted that? Maybe he thought Fergal took it wrong? Maybe it was just meant as a friendly gesture? It seemed like a little more but Fergal shouldn't have gotten his hopes up.

"Everything alright Lucas?"

"Fine. I just don't want to get too involved with all this here." Lucas smiled. "I know how important Chad and them are to ya."

"Right, but you're important too."

"Probably not on the same level as them." Lucas looked forward.

Fergal looked down at the ground and just nodded. He wasn't sure how to tell him he was more important. No matter how he said it in his head, it sounded off. Part of it sounded desperate, part of it sounded like he was saying it out of pity. It just would have come out wrong. Now wasn't the time and here wasn't the place. He wasn't looking for some perfect fireworks in the background, sunset highlighting their silhouettes moment. He just wanted to be able to talk to Lucas alone, without the risk of anyone else overhearing him or interrupting. He had a lot going through his head as he followed the younger man back into the dorm, back up the staircase to the room they had shared the night before. He wasn't sure if they were close enough that the confession of feelings would leave the friendship intact. Then the age difference hit him, sure it was only six years but it was a six-year age difference between people who met at 14 and 20. Would that have been weird to Lucas? Would someone else kind of look at that in a predatory way? It was easy for Chad to tell Fergal to just tell him all this shit, but it wasn't that easy. Just thinking about it was anxiety inducing. Fergal watched Lucas drop a photo envelope. He didn't take notice to what they were but Lucas was pretty quick to start picking them up and hiding them. He was partially curious and partially jealous. The photos were probably some secret girlfriend he was hiding back home.

Lucas started putting some items back into his suitcase. He made sure he really had everything with him. He watched a photo envelope fall out of his suitcase and scrambled to pick up the photos from it. He hoped Fergal hadn't seen them or if he did see them he hoped he just assumed they were family photos he carried with him. Well, one of them was, sort of. It was a picture of Fergal and his mother from some holiday Fergal spent in Sheppey with the Eatwells. He secured them in the messenger bag he kept all his essentials in. All of the photos were irreplaceable. They were all from moments Lucas had committed to memory, but there was something special about being able to look at something physical. There was one of the two of them that he was positive gave the wrong interpretation of their relationship. Someone who didn't know them would have thought it was a little more. The way their arms rested on each other, the way Fergal's face was buried in his neck. They were both laughing. It was a moment he couldn't remember all the details of, he just knew they were drunk in Germany. Rami Sebei snapped the photo and mailed it to him with a couple other pictures from that tour. Seemed like Rami and Chad both saw a little more in their relationship than was really there. Not that Lucas didn't want what they saw, he just knew it wasn't there.


	4. Chapter 4

Fergal did his best to make the most of the day out with Lucas. They went to a few places that they frequented since both being in Tokyo. Fergal wanted to make the most of the day. He thought this day was going to be slightly lonely. He looked at Lucas eyeing up something in a shop window. He seemed in deep thought staring at what was in front of him. Fergal could tell what he was looking at, the store seemed to sell mostly jewelry. He wondered if it had something to do with the pictures that fell all over the place. Maybe it wasn't a girlfriend he had back home? Maybe it was an ex. This was so stupid. Fergal knew that he could ask him straight up why he was so depressed looking at what seemed like custom wedding band sets.

"Everything okay?" Lucas turned to Fergal's voice. "Ya seem a bit down lookin' at the rings?"

"Oh. Right. Just the one set caught my eye."

"Oh which?" Fergal looked at the sets in the window.

"That one." Lucas pointed at the one he was looking at. Fergal's eyes went to the one next to it.

"Thinking of askin' someone to marry you?"

"No. I'm in the midst of some weird unrequited love thing. I tried to consciously make it stop but the more time I spend with that person the more things I find I really love about them. Now I'm looking at these rings and they're just perfect." Lucas closed his eyes. "I don't mean to ruin your last day. Ya wanted to have fun."

"It's fine. Ya looked really hurt, thought maybe something happened and I wasn't aware." Fergal grabbed Lucas's hand on instinct. "Let's go to that sushi place and then grab a couple beers to take back to the dorm."

"Alright."

Lucas looked back at the two black, men's wedding bands. One with a silver and blue pattern. The other with a red and silver. They were very obviously being sold as a set. It was like the jeweler made them for Lucas and Fergal. Lucas looked at the way Fergal was holding his hand. Fingers locked, like he didn't want to let go. Lucas didn't want to look too much into things. It could have just been for comfort. His eyes caught another window, there were kittens. The cute little cats rolling around with each other picked up his spirits a bit. He looked back at Fergal. Fergal hadn't let go on his hand. This was the worst time to tell Fergal anything. He was leaving tomorrow. They were wrestling in less than a month. It would have led to some awkwardness being there were no mutual feelings. Why did Fergal keep holding his hand? Why did he keep wanting Fergal to hold his hand?

They sat in the corner of the little sushi restaurant. The place was cozy. It wasn't small but it gave Fergal the feeling of somewhere you'd take a first date. Part of him wanted this to be a date but at the same time it wasn't a thought he should have had. He left out a sigh. It wasn't loud enough for anyone really to hear, just a sound. The quietness between him and Lucas seemed to have made things awkward, tense, something. He looked at Lucas digging in his bag. That stupid orange envelope of photos was visible. He would have never paid too much mind to them but the bright orange of the envelope they were in, drew his eyes. Now wasn't the time to ask what the pictures were but curiosity and jealousy were a volatile mix. He stared at the envelope in Lucas's hand as he was digging through his bag looking for something. It was almost as if Lucas knew he was staring at it. It was like he wanted to talk about the contents but wanted Fergal to make the first move.

Lucas looked where Fergal's eyes had been locked. He was staring at the envelope. Lucas was afraid he'd ask to see the pictures. Normally that wouldn't be so odd. It was normal to share family photos with a friend. Really it was normal to share photos with a friend. Usually it was a thing friends did, shared photos from trips, family photos. It was literally why Instagram existed. Still, irrationality over powered any rational thought Lucas had. He needed to keep the contents a secret. Especially that one photo of the two of them where it looked like a photo a couple in love would take. He could tell him they were old family photos if he asked? Maybe he would be uninterested in them? No, it was Fergal, he loved family photos. Old girlfriend? Fergal never liked her, so he could just say these were photos of them? He could say he carried them because he missed her. Fergal was staring at his face. He looked a bit upset, not mad, just more impatient.

"Lucas, are ya ready? I asked a couple times and nothing?"

"Oh yeah. I was thinking. Maybe we get some drinks and then watch a movie in the room?"

"Okay."

"Yeah, like when we were in Germany."

"Sounds good." Fergal smiled.

Fergal and Lucas stood together. Fergal led the younger man out of the restaurant and down a few blocks to a store that sold alcohol. They looked at the different beers. Fergal's eyes went to something a little stronger. Maybe he could get drunk, kiss Lucas, blame the alcohol? No, that was really disgusting. No good person did anything like that purposely. He felt Lucas on his back, leaning over his shoulder. This didn't help him wanting to drown his emotions in alcohol. Fergal looked at the side of Lucas's face. He could tell that Lucas knew he started to overstep some boundary but was comfortable enough to do it. Both of them were okay with it. Fergal wanted more of it, he just didn't know how to bring it up.

Lucas realized what he was doing. He got a little too comfortable. He'd back off but there was really no point. He was already this deep. He reached around Fergal to a bottle of Jagermeister. He remembered the last time Fergal had the Germany liquor. It had been free Jager night, something Jimmy Havoc had enjoyed on their Germany trips. Fergal and Jimmy were on some wild attempt to out drink each other, Fergal ended up in the bathroom of their shared hotel room. Lucas sat with him make sure he was okay. He ended up sleeping against the wall with Fergal in his lap. Probably was a good idea to put the dark green bottle back. Fergal looked up at him.

"Are we trying to have some drinks or die?"

"What about wine?"

"Wine?" Fergal looked at Lucas.

"Sure. Why not? We always drink beer. It's different and the bottle is pretty."

"The bottle is pretty? Really?"

"Yeah, look at the cherry blossoms. It's sparkling too, so it's still fizzy."

"Okay. Maybe we can watch Steel Magnolias followed by Beaches?"

"I have both on my computer."

"Of course ya do."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean? They are great films."

"mmhmm"

Fergal grabbed the bottle and laughed. He looked at Lucas from the counter. He noticed his intense stare. It was like Lucas wanted to remember this exact moment. He wasn't too sure why. This wasn't any different than the probably 9000 other times that they bought some sort of alcohol together, it was the first time they bought pink sparkling wine. It wasn't any different than any other time they went back to their room and watched movies on Lucas's computer. He looked back at Lucas smiling. It was one of those smiles a man gives his significant other from across the room. It was one of those "that's mine" kind of loving smiles. Fergal didn't want to look too deep. Maybe Lucas was excited about living it up like old times? Maybe Fergal was truly in denial? This wasn't how friends looked at each other. They didn't hug like friends. Friends didn't hold hands with linked fingers. He walked over to meet up with Lucas. It was almost an immediate thing that they walked back to the dorm hand in hand. Even if nothing else, this is all Fergal wanted, Lucas holding his hand.


	5. Chapter 5

Fergal and Lucas were a few hours into their movie marathon and almost on to their second bottle of wine. They were both fairly drunk. They had been laying on the same bed watching a terrible assortment of movies that neither of them would really watch. Fergal put his head on Lucas's shoulder to watch the computer he hand resting on his stomach. Lucas passed him the bottle of wine. Lucas looked down at his face with a slight smile. Fergal looked up with glassy eyes. There was a mix of alcohol and tension in the way they were looking at each other. They've been this drunk and this close before. This was different. There wasn't a sensible third party to stop them from doing anything regrettable. He went back to laying on Lucas's shoulder. He felt his fingers massaging his scalp. It was comforting. He drew little circles with his finger ever so lightly on Lucas's side. It was a silent exchange of feelings that neither of them were ready to fully face.

Lucas's eyes adjusted to the sun coming in the window next to the bed. Somehow he managed to have gotten the computer onto the window sill. There was an empty wine bottle on the floor and one with about a quarter of the pink liquid left. He looked down at his chest. Fergal was still sleeping on him. He maneuvered to look at the clock. It was still fairly early. This was their last time together for a couple weeks. He wanted to savor the moment. He felt Fergal moving on his chest. Their eyes met. There was this overwhelming feeling of normalcy. There wasn't any weird tension. Fergal's chin rested in a relaxed way on Lucas. Lucas's arm was casually around his back. It was something Lucas could get used to. Fergal and himself waking up every morning like this.

"Good morning."

"Morning." Fergal sighed. "Sorry I fell asleep on ya."

"Not the worst person I've had fall asleep on me." Lucas nodded.

"Dave?"

"Nah he's good. Shane was the worst. He snores so fucking loud."

Fergal noticed that they were still kind of laying in the same position having a random conversation. He felt Lucas's fingers tracing over his spine. He didn't want to push the boundaries and do anything he'd end up regretting. This didn't seem like something friends did. There was a certain level of contentment that Fergal could feel in Lucas's breathing. It seemed like the right time to tell Lucas everything he'd been feeling the past eight years, but then at the same time, he didn't want to ruin this moment with emotions.

"We should probably get up and get everything together to leave."

"All my shit is together. Just have to get dressed and say good bye to the guys."

Lucas pulled Fergal closer to his body. His arm was tighter on Fergal's back.

"I'm going to miss ya Ferg."

"It's only for a few weeks."

"I know."

There was a hint of sadness in his voice. He watched Fergal get up and start moving around the room. He needed to say something to him before he left. It was the worst time. He was leaving and the next time they saw each other would be a day before they wrestled. Lucas closed his eyes. He should have never left this all get to this point. He had opportunities to say something. Maybe if Lucas never said anything these feelings would just go the fuck away. Maybe that's what he needed? Just to not think about how he felt. He watched Fergal walk into the room in a pair of chinos, a tight black t-shirt, and a gray cardigan. These feelings weren't going to go away anytime soon. Especially not when Fergal smiled at him the way he always did.

Fergal had been out of the room for a while, saying his good byes. It was a bit of a bittersweet moment for him. He was positive Chad was still crying. He was a little nervous to leave Lucas. He just wanted to stay longer, but he needed to start getting himself together. He needed to go to the apartment he secured to see the set up. See what kind of furniture he wanted. He'd be there a few weeks before he'd go back home. All he kept thinking about was how magical it would have been to wake up every morning the way he woke up this morning.

"Okay, well, my cab will be here in about a half hour."

"Right. I'm going to ring one, take me back to the dorm."

"I um I'll message ya when I get there."

"Sounds good."

Fergal looked at Lucas's face. Studying the sharp lines of his chiseled face. He was certain that Lucas was the most perfect man he ever laid eyes on. He grabbed his hand, it was really all he ever wanted from any relationship. Someone to hold his hand. It was a simple gesture. He could feel tears welling in his eyes. He had himself so prepared for this moment. In his head it was easy. He would have given his friend a hug and left. Everything was easy was he wasn't attached. Something in their relationship changed without either of them saying a single word to each other. He felt Lucas's left hand on his cheek.

"Ya should probably head down."

"Right. Walk with me."

"mmmhmm."

Lucas looked into Fergal's blue eyes. He looked for some sign. Something that told him he could make his next move. He still had his hand on Fergal's cheek. He felt Fergal turn in his palm. Fergal's lips connected lightly with the inside of Lucas's wrist. He smiled and pushed his face back to look at him. He had about five seconds to figure out if he was going to go forward with this. He pressed his lips to Fergal's. It was simple a sweet gesture if anything. Fergal pulled him back. Lucas's hands held Fergal's head in place. Fergal's hands shifted to Lucas's waist. A knock on the door and Drew mentioning the cab waiting broke the kiss. Lucas looked down and took a breath.

"I'm sorry."

"Me too." Fergal patted Lucas's cheek.

The two men walked down to the cab waiting to take Fergal to the airport. Lucas helped him pack his items into the back. This was the last time they'd see each other until the day of their match at Progress. Fergal looked at Lucas before getting in. Lucas knew why Fergal was sorry. Fergal knew why Lucas was sorry. It was something they both knew they needed to talk about. Lucas watched the cab until he couldn't see it. Part of him was hurt and part of him was relieved. He wondered what one more day together would have meant. He looked down at his phone. Something he'd do a few more times just to make sure the conversation was real.

 _Fergie: Listen, I don't know why I couldn't tell you this in person to your face but I love you._

 _Lucas: I know._

 _Fergie: Perfect._


	6. Chapter 6

Time passed so slowly. The time between Japan and England seemed to drag. Lucas was tired of communicating through the phone and computer. He wanted to see Fergal. He wanted to touch Fergal. In his head, it had felt like they were apart forever. He just wanted to hear Fergal's voice not some weird muffled phone voice. Lucas thought Fergal would have been to the arena by now to start his long make-up process. He laid in the middle of the ring staring up at the ceiling. He felt someone crawl into the ring next to him. It wasn't Fergal. Of course, it wasn't Fergal, if anything he was in the back already getting his make-up and shit done.

"So, someone told me that ya looked depressed laying out here."

"I'm fine James."

"Are ya sure, Lucas?"

"Positive. Just a little nervous."

"You're wrestling Ferg? What is there to be nervous about?"

Lucas looked back up at the ceiling. Fergal and Lucas had been quiet about everything. They weren't ready to make everything into this public spectacle. It didn't need to be anyone's business but their own. Lucas felt like Jimmy should have been told but at the same time, he wasn't ready for the inevitable, "I fucking knew it" to come out of the dark-haired Brit's mouth. He just wanted to get through the match and not have to worry about anything. He pulled his phone in front of his face in hopes Jimmy would just go the fuck back to the locker room. He could tell Jimmy was still staring at him.

"There's a lot to be nervous about. This is like his second to last match, I don't want to fuck it up."

"Ya won't." Jimmy patted Lucas's thigh. "Are ya fucking crying Lucas."

"No."

"This isn't about the match at all is it?"

Jimmy had always known there was something between the two of them. There was always something a little different about their relationship. Jimmy was close to both Lucas and Fergal, but they were just closer. They always seemed to laugh a little longer together. Always seemed to touch each other. It wasn't anything sexual, more loving, sometimes a little flirtatious. He wondered when they realized what everyone else seemed to notice.

"It's the match."

"Look, if ya want to tell me that, it's fine. I get it."

"I have to go. He text me he's in the back." Lucas got up and started walking toward the ropes.

"Right." Jimmy pulled Lucas back. "Don't worry so much okay. It will be fine."

Lucas nodded. He knew Jimmy knew. Jimmy always fucking knew everything. He walked in the back somewhat sullen. He wasn't sure why he always felt like this was the end. Maybe because it didn't quite feel real. They literally shared two kisses, never talked about their relationship, just talked to each other like nothing was different. The only real difference in the way they talked to each other was ending conversations with "I love you". Lucas entered the room where Fergal was waiting for his make-up artist friend. She was a nice girl, talented, he wondered if she was going with him to the states. She hadn't gotten there yet or Fergal definitely would not have invited him. He stepped into the room and saw Fergal in a pair of shorts over his gear. He was already shirtless, probably needed his chest bare. Fergal pulled Lucas toward him. They just kind of stared at each other for a few moments. Lucas leaned down to kiss Fergal. When he pulled back he saw Fergal's face.

"I missed ya so much Lucas."

"Same."

"I wish we talked about all of this sooner."

"No reason to talk about the should haves. We just have to figure out how to make things work."

"Well, there's a lot of indy work in America."

"I don't want to be clingy."

"Please be clingy." Fergal ran his hand down Lucas's cheek. "I want ya in America with me, I want to wake up with ya all the time. The phone bullshit is exactly that bullshit."

"I've been in contact with some places." Lucas's forehead met Fergal's. "I'm just scared. After all that happened ya know."

"I understand. It's why it took so long to get to this point. The timing is shit, but we can make it work. I'm not her."

Fergal wrapped his arms around Lucas's waist. He looked up at him from his seated position. His eyes were met by Lucas's brown ones. He had long studied the lines and curves of Lucas's face. He noticed changes, little scars from shaving, scars from wrestling, everything. He licked his lips. He was the lucky one in all of this. Lucas was terribly beautiful. He could have easily walked away. There was that chance that Fergal had read him wrong and he had no feelings passed friendship. He felt Lucas grab his hand. All he wanted and needed out of all this, was Lucas to always hold his hand. It was such a simple gesture of love.

"Alright, whatever we need to do to make this work, we're going to do." Lucas kissed Fergal again.

"We will." Fergal looked at his phone. "Kate's here. I'll see you out in the ring. I love you."

"I know." Lucas smirked. "I'll see ya in about an hour."

Lucas gave him a quick chaste kiss before Kate walked in. She looked between the two men but said nothing as Lucas left. She said nothing to Fergal, just simply moved forward and started to paint his face. He looked up at her as she applied some prosthetic skin next to his lips. He was quiet. It wasn't anything new. If he needed to talk to someone, he would have started talking. She finished her work and helped him with some of his gear. He looked at her with a smile.

"I appreciate everything that you've done."

"If not for you being the best wingman in the world, I wouldn't have a fiancé." She smiled. "One day you'll have it."

"Soon. I told him I wouldn't tell anyone…"

"Secret is safe my love. I had a feeling. The way that the two of ya are around each other. It's beautiful. Good luck out there."

"Thanks Kate."

He grabbed his props and walked out to the gorilla area. He saw Lucas standing nervously staring up at the ceiling. He was rarely nervous. Fergal walked over to him and looked up at his eyes. Lucas closed his eyes. There was something surreal about all of this. He was about to wrestle someone he'd known for twelve years. Someone that he respected, someone he loved. They first wrestled as friends. Now they are wrestling as lovers. There was something emotionally different. Lucas heard his entrance music. He grabbed Fergal's hand and kissed the inside of his wrist.

"Fuck me up baby."

He winked before stepping through the curtain. Just like that Lucas transformed into Zack Sabre Jr., someone who exuded a level of confidence that Lucas didn't always have. Fergal watched him make his entrance before preparing for his own. He was so impressive. The cockiness that he had when he was in character was sexy. There was something appealing about the way he walked to the ring. Fergal licked his lips watching him step into the ring. The arrogance of the Zack Sabre Jr. character flowing, made him a little less nervous. That was until his music hit. Fergal took a deep breath and waited for his cue before pushing the curtain open. He looked down the ramp to Lucas in the ring. Now was not the time to get nervous.


	7. Chapter 7

Lucas did what he could to quell his nerves. Hugged Jim Smallman. Played with some streamers. Consciously told himself that he needed to relax. Reality hit him hard when he heard Fergal's music. He took a breath when he saw him. Hid his tears during introductions. His taunting ended up looking more flirtatious and sexual than he intended. He unzipped his jacket and slid it open in hopes to show off his belt. He fucked it all up and mostly showed his chest. It wasn't as impressive as Fergal's. The lick of his lips and his eyes slightly closed made it all look worse. He hoped no one would notice or if they did it would be years later. The match didn't help. He knew there were things throughout that could have been misconstrued. He hoped Fergal wasn't upset by them. He just couldn't help blowing him a kiss midmatch. Making him crawl backward in a rest hold. The match ended up turning him on more than it should have but the way Fergal's ass looked when he was backing up in the hold. The repressed sexual want was starting to surface. He needed Fergal.

On Fergal's end the match wasn't any less arousing or anxiety ridden. He was so careful through the match. He knew he could really light up Lucas on most days. He'd been wrestling long enough to where stiff chops were second nature. Lucas was a professional in the ring. He'd take anything and give it back equally rough. Still, the match was proving to be mentally taxing for Fergal. Outside of the ring they were lovers. Inside the ring, they were opponents. His mind had at moments slipped over the line. He had a hard time discerning between lover and opponent. Part of him wanted to be stiff with Lucas and part of him wanted to protect Lucas. He was torn. He hoped no one picked up on the moments where he slipped up. He knew if anyone added it all up, they'd make assumptions. Someone going public with even the slightest bit of gossip could lead to trouble in WWE. His biggest fear in wrestling was getting signed and them changing their mind or him facing locker room heat over his sexuality.

The post-match hug didn't really help ease Fergal. There was a slight hint of a romantic relationship. Lucas pulling him back, the look of want on his face. The two of them both attempting to pass if off as some "bro" moment, it failing miserably. The Progress fans were a hard read. They were either going to flock to Twitter and speculate or they were going to accept the fact this was Fergal's second to last match. That there was some possibility that emotions were just running high and the hug was just years of friendship.

Fergal was met up in the back by Lucas. Lucas smirked and pushed him into a small closet with a sink. It had to have been a janitor's closet. He felt Lucas push him into the wall. Their mouths met in a sloppy, heated kiss. Fergal moans when he felt Lucas's hand slip into his trunks. He silently gave him permission to keep going. He shifted to give Lucas better access. He rested his head on Lucas's shoulder. The moans told Lucas he was doing well.

"You. Didn't. Have. To. Do. This."

"No, I did. I needed to touch you. Look up at me." He had this dominant tone. Something Fergal couldn't have imagined. Fergal's head turned up. "We're going to go to my room before we go out with the lads. I don't like starting something and not finishing."

"mmm." Fergal's eyes closed. "Fuck."

Lucas licked his lips. He felt Fergal cum on is hand. Lucas smirked before licking it off. He noticed Fergal's eyes. Lower than normal. Clearly he liked dominant Lucas. Lucas adjust Fergal's pants to cover his dick. He gave him a quick kiss before turning to the sink. Lucas washed his hands before leaving the closet. There was a silent agreement to not leave together.

Lucas went to the locker room and sat on a chair. He was digging through his bag when Fergal walked in. He smiled at him when took the other chair. They changed in silence. There was no need for them to say much to each other. They could enjoy each other's company without words. There was an exchange of flirty little touches. There was a small chaste kiss. Nothing that wouldn't have been quick to back away from if someone came into the room. There were still a couple matches going on so they had the locker room almost entirely to themselves. A kiss got a little heated and Fergal ended up sitting on Lucas's thighs. If they were together longer, maybe, Lucas would have gladly bent Fergal over the dirty locker room sink but that wasn't the same as a quick hand job in the closet. They needed this somewhere comfortable, where they wouldn't get caught or end up with Jimmy trying to have a conversation with them from the other shower stall like he had a habit of doing.

Fergal looked down at Lucas from his position on him. He studied his face closer. Noticed a few more little lines. He noticed how when the light hit his eyes they had a slight golden tint. He was smiling so his dimples were visible. His soft pink lips were arousing, at least right now, in this moment. Fergal wasn't sure if they were really as sexy as his mind was telling him or if his processing was clouded by desire. Fergal heard the door and slid back on to his chair.

Lucas watched the loud voices enter. He took a breath and readjusted himself. He looked up at the two men that walked in. Tommy End and Jimmy Havoc. He followed Jimmy's eyes between the two of them. His mind went to their conversation from earlier. He hoped there wasn't some obvious sign that something was happening. He was more anxious about Jimmy and Tommy realizing two seconds before they walked in the door he had another man's ass in his lap. Tommy had disappeared to get his bags together. Lucas, Jimmy, and Fergal made small talk about going out and it put Lucas at ease. He hoped that neither of them noticed the small bit shaped bruise on Fergal's shoulder. Jimmy was dangerously close to Fergal, he had to have seen it. Maybe it wasn't as bad as Lucas thought. Lucas watched Jimmy run Fergal's shoulder while he talked to him.

"So, Ferg wanna head out."

"Uh sure. We'll see ya in a bit James?"

"Yeah, I'll grab us a table. Don't eat, we can get some pub food like old times." Jimmy's hand was still on Fergal's shoulder. It was teasing Lucas. "Ya alright Lucas?"

"Huh?" He looked up. "Oh yeah, I was going to get take away but if ya wanna eat at the pub that's fine."

"Alright, well let's go then luv."

Fergal lead Lucas out of the room. He knew Jimmy knew what was going on. No one had to say anything. Lucas grabbed Fergal's hand when they were far enough from the building. They didn't say much, just small talk. Fergal was content. He watched the door to Lucas's room open. He took a deep breath. He was slightly apprehensive about stepping in. This wasn't the first time and probably wasn't the last time he'd share a space with Lucas. It was never something he was nervous about but this was different. He didn't want to pressure Lucas into taking the next step. He didn't need to nor want to rush into anything. He was okay with what they had, love wasn't always sex and sex wasn't always love. He heard Lucas calling him and he stepped through the door.


	8. Chapter 8

Fergal looked around the small flat. It was temporary. Never anywhere Lucas intended on staying long. It was no different than any of his other temporary homes. There was a dirty old couch that had probably be bought second hand. There was a mattress and box spring on the floor. A couple stacked wooden crates for a night table. It was all simple, not that he didn't want better, but he didn't need better right now. There were stacks of books taking up most of the room. He was a book hoarder. Fergal hoped Lucas didn't think his looking around was in judgement. Lucas handed him a beer.

"Sorry it's not as nice as you're apartment in Florida."

"It's fine. I've know ya long enough to know this isn't permanent."

"I took what I was allowed to take." Lucas took a sip of his beer. Fergal grabbed his hand. "I didn't bring you here to talk about her though."

"I know." Fergal knew Lucas was hesitant. "We don't have to do anything."

"Okay. It's just all new and I feel like I'm fifteen stumbling around with all this. I don't know how any of this works and I'm afraid to admit that really. I sometimes still feel like I'm fifteen and trying to impress ya."

"Look, you've never had to try to impress me. So, don't think ya need to start." Fergal pulled Lucas toward him. "There's no rush to do anything."

Lucas nodded. He leaned in to kiss Fergal. It was more sensual than sexual. It was deeper than sex. Their foreheads were rested against each other's. Lucas felt Fergal's fingers trailing down his side. He had a firm grip on Fergal's waistband to hold him in place. He didn't want to leave this moment. He just wanted to stay with Fergal but they were expected at the pub. He didn't want Jimmy making anymore assumptions than he already did. Lucas heard his phone buzzing. He left out a huff. Fergal looked up into his eyes. He memorized the color, the shape, the way they closed when he smiled, he didn't want to ever forget what he looked like.

"It's probably James asking where we are."

"We should go I guess."

"I don't want to. I just want to stay here."

"We have tomorrow." Fergal gave a smirk.

"I love you Ferg."

"I love you too."

They shared one last chaste kiss before getting themselves together to go to the pub. They walked a few blocks hand in hand but stood a safe distance when they got close enough to the pub for someone to have seen them. They looked at the table of wrestlers waiting for them. Jimmy had a devious smirk. Lucas knew he was going to say something stupid. He wasn't mentally prepared for the entire table to hear whatever it was. He looked across at Tommy End who shrugged. He must've said something about their lateness before they even arrived. Fergal was looking down at the pub menu.

Jimmy was still staring across the table at them. He wasn't sure what he could and couldn't say about everything. He didn't want to make a joke about them fucking and Tommy was offended. He didn't want them upset either if he said too much. He needed to play it safe. He concentrated on his words.

"More people were here but the two of ya showed up an hour late."

"Sorry. We were talking and shit."

"Talking? mmm. That's what they are calling it these days?" Jimmy smiled. Tommy's eyes widened.

"What the fuck Jimmy?" Tommy turned as he spoke. "Did you really just accuse them of fucking?"

"I wouldn't have if their match didn't look like foreplay." Fergal looked up at Jimmy when he spoke.

"So, you chop your bird before ya fuck Jimmy?"

"Just as hard and rough as you chop your boyfriend, Fergal. I am curious. Did ya bite on his thigh there a bit?"

"Always."

"I would've never expected Lucas to be so frisky."

"It's always the quiet ones James." Lucas spoke as he reached for a napkin. "Think about it. Ferg here just plays Legos and here he is doing all the biting."

Fergal laughed and shook his head. He didn't want to say anything too questionable. He didn't even know if these were things that Lucas liked or if he was just saying things for a couple laughs. Not for nothing, Jimmy was one person Fergal knew he could trust enough to know the depths of his relationship with Lucas. He squeezed Lucas's thigh.

"Wait til we fuck on the Legos."

"Shit that's hardcore."

"So, just curious who is bottoming for that? Like who's laying on the bed of Legos?" Tommy sounded genuinely curious. "I mean that shit's going to fucking hurt one of ya. Or both of you really, I mean depending on how wild you're getting."

"You're really thinking about this Tommy?" Fergal laughed.

"Curious really. I don't know much about all this here. I know I wouldn't want someone's dick in my ass while my chest is being impaled by Legos."

"So, is that Lego play why ya've always got scratches on your chest?"

"You're a piece of shit James." Lucas laughed.

Fergal was glad that everyone was laughing and not judging. There seemed to be a collective acceptance that him and Lucas were a couple. Jimmy kept looking between them. He worried about them. He understood why at least Fergal was apprehensive to be more open. He was on his way to a company notorious for backstage homophobia. He had a lot to lose if someone wanted to be a prick.

"Really though, when did ya finally tell him Ferg?"

"Couple months ago."

"Wait, a couple months? I thought this was a thing way longer. When were we all in Germany? 2012-2013?" Tommy looked confused again.

"Wow. Really?" Jimmy looked at Tommy.

"Yeah, really. I mean the way they flirt with each other, I assumed that they were at least fucking." Tommy shrugged.

Lucas laughed and looked at Fergal. There was still a very real fear that moments like this could end a career. Sure, Lucas and Fergal were staring across the table from two supportive friends, but what happened when Fergal left? What would happen? Would Fergal be ostracized because of him? Would he lose some push in the company? Lose friends he was making? In any normal situation, Fergal wouldn't have cared but he'd never been in a situation where someone's shit opinions on homosexuality meant his career. He already had to beg for certain matches to be scoured from existence. He felt Lucas wrap his hand around his and squeeze. It was reassurance that nothing was going to change his feelings.


	9. Chapter 9

After the pub, Lucas and Fergal went back to Lucas's makeshift flat. It was a room he rented when Fergal really thought about it. He noticed the orange photo envelope that Lucas had in Japan. It was casually sitting on his beat up old coffee table. He must've been looking through the photos. Fergal was curious about them, especially if Lucas was casually looking through them. He looked up at the bathroom door opening. Lucas was coming out in what he probably was going to be in. Fergal watched his eyes fall to that stupid envelope. He watched the brown eyes fall shut. This was clearly not something he was supposed to find. Of course, their relationship was too perfect. He grabbed the envelope and locked eyes angrily with Lucas. Lucas looked down at the floor. Fergal pulled the stack out and looked at the first picture. His face fell. He flipped through about twelve years of him and Lucas. Most of the pictures were of the two of them looking suspiciously in love. There were photos with each other's families. They were not what Fergal had expected. Fergal was expecting them to be photos with an ex, maybe photos with a few exes. He felt like he owed Lucas an apology for his feelings. All the pictures had dates and locations on the back with a little summary of what was going on. He looked at a few from a place called Butlins, it was some resort Fergal had gone to with Lucas's family early on in their friendship. He looked at one of the photos, that someone from the outside would have assumed a lot about. Fergal looked at the back. _Ferg and I enjoying a lovely dinner at Butlins' restaurant with mum and dad. Mum loves him._ Fergal looked up at Lucas. He was in love, terribly in love, but he was full of so much animalistic lust in this moment.

Lucas stared down at Fergal holding the pictures. He wasn't ready to confess how long he had them in his possession. Fergal could easily read the dates on the backs. Lucas had been holding on to the pictures for almost as long as he's known Fergal. He sat down next to him on the old musty couch. He looked forward, almost stoic. He could feel Fergal's hand on his thigh, it started out comforting and then got a bit more flirtatious, more sexual. He felt his fingers creep up his inner thigh. Lucas looked at the smirk on Fergal's face. He licked his lips when he felt Fergal palming his hardening dick. His eyes watched Fergal working on the button and zipper of his jeans. He felt Fergal move a little closer. He closed his eyes and swallowed the lump in his throat when he realized what was happening. Fergal's lips met Lucas's in a somewhat sloppy kiss. It wasn't Fergal's intent, he was more interested in other things but he needed to prep Lucas. Lucas threw his head back when he felt the rough kisses on his neck. He pulled his shirt off so Fergal could access his chest. He watched him go lower, leaving a trail of small bites down his chest and abs. Fergal hadn't removed his hand from Lucas's erection. He watched Fergal move to kneel between his legs. He left out a giggle. He wasn't sure what he did to even be deserving of any of this.

Lucas hissed when he felt Fergal's warm tongue on his shaft. He watched his head bob and felt the soft sucking. His eyes shut and he left out a pleasured laugh. He ran his fingers through Fergal's hair. He looked down at the way Fergal's eyes were closed. Lucas could feel the vibrations of Fergal's moans. Lucas was nervous, he could feel himself on the verge of cumming. He didn't know if he should pull out of Fergal's mouth or just let it happen. He moved his body to remove himself from Finn when he felt hands on his thighs holding him in place. He left out a whimper before he came in Fergal's mouth. He felt Fergal swallow, wasn't like he had much of a choice but to swallow. Lucas had a hand on the back of his head. Lucas never had enough self-control when it came to things like this. He was always hesitant. He always questioned limits and boundaries. He looked at Fergal still laying on his thighs. He leaned back on the couch.

Fergal felt relaxed. He felt Lucas's hand drawing small circles on his back. He wasn't saying anything and that made Fergal somewhat nervous. He always felt like he rushed things. He rushed the sexual aspects of his relationships. He wasn't sure if a month, a month without really seeing each other physically was too soon. He always feared the worst. Fergal looked up and their eyes met. He was waiting for Lucas to say something, anything. He watched Lucas readjust his flaccid cock. He followed Lucas's eyes to the direction of the bed. Lucas caressed his face. Fergal pulled up to look him in the eyes. He felt Lucas pulling him closer. He maneuvered onto Lucas's thighs.

"You're wearing too many clothes Fergal." He started unbuttoning the shirt that Fergal had on and slid is off his arms. He licked his lips. "You're literal perfection."

"I love you, Lucas."

"I love you too." Lucas started to unzip the pants Fergal had on to get a better feel of his ass. "Why don't you stand up and take these off. I want to see all of you."

Lucas's hand didn't leave the front of Fergal's pant when he stood up. He palmed over his growing erection. He stopped Fergal from pulling his undershorts down. He looked up at Fergal with a heated stare. His hands explored Fergal's body and he licked his lips. It seemed more of a nervous tic than anything meant to be seductive. Fergal shivered when he felt Lucas's mouth on his hip. He trailed his tongue just above the waistband of his underwear. He pulled back and looked up at Fergal. He stood flush with him.

"Turn around and bend over the couch."

"Look if you're not ready for this we don't have…"

"Turn around and bend over the couch Fergal." Lucas looked down at him. "Ass up a bit, love."

Fergal complied. He heard Lucas's jeans drop. Lucas's hands were gentle on his back. He slid the waistband of the black boxer briefs Fergal was wearing between his fingers. Fergal couldn't see the smirk on Lucas's face but he felt his strong hand slap the meat of his ass. He left out a little gasp. He heard something hit the floor and his eyes widened. He felt a few kisses before hands roughly spreading his cheeks. He left out an aroused laugh when he felt Lucas's tongue. He pushed back when he felt his teeth drag softly. He reached down to pleasure himself when his hand was pushed away. Lucas seemed well experienced with what he was doing. Fergal didn't want to get distracted with questions. He felt an increase of pressure on his delicate foreskin. His head dropped to the back of the couch. He felt a couple more slaps on his ass before Lucas stopped.

"Can I fuck you?" Lucas's voice was hot in Fergal's ear.

"Yes."

Lucas sucked Fergal's earlobe before stepping away from his back. They walked to the small bedroom. Fergal went to the bed while Lucas grabbed a few supplies from a dresser drawer. He turned and stared at Fergal for a few moments before crawling onto the bed next to him. They exchanged a couple lusty stares. Lucas made the first move sliding a hand down Fergal's abs to his erect cock. He smirked at the bit of precum he smeared. He started to suck at Fergal's neck. His cock twitched at the sounds that Fergal was making. He moved down and replaced his mouth for his hand. Fergal left out another aroused laugh followed by a string of profanities. Lucas shifted to rest between Fergal's legs. He stared up at him without removing his mouth. He felt Fergal's fingers in his hair. He felt Fergal start tugging at the longer strands.

Fergal's cock was pulsating on Lucas's tongue. He could feel himself about to cum. He started to push at Lucas's head to get him to move. He had the fear he was going to cum a lot and hard. Lucas grabbed him by the wrists and pinned them to Fergal's sides on the bed. Fergal left out a throaty moan before releasing into Lucas's mouth. He watched Lucas pull back and pick a couple things up from the floor. He watched him set a bottle and a box on the makeshift nightstand.

"Do you need a minute?" Lucas looked down at Fergal.

"Yeah. Maybe a drink that's not alcohol."

"I've got some coconut water and I can put on a pot for tea?"

"Beautiful."

"I'll grab you the water and start the pot."

He watched Lucas walk into the kitchen area to work on the kettle of water. Everything about this felt so normal. He watched Lucas walk back to the bed with the coconut water. He realized somewhere between the couch and now, Lucas had slid his underpants back on but he didn't seem to mind Fergal laying on the bed nude. Lucas snuggled against his side waiting for the water to heat. Fergal looked over at the stove and realized it was one he'd bought for Lucas. It was from one of the first times he went to Japan. It was cast iron, red with a dragon design. Something about it being used at this moment felt right.


End file.
